Andrea Gets Schooled

Unpopular opinion: Goal-setting isn’t effective.

Let me clarify: In my opinion, goal-setting in the classic sense isn’t as effective as we may think.

This first week of January was filled with newsletters, social media posts, and conversations about resolutions and goals. It’s tempting – for many of us, creating the list in itself feels like a great first accomplishment of the year (box = checked!).

General advice recommends that goals should be outlined in a format that’s S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound) to create structure. But despite this widespread practice that many of us learn in elementary school, here’s why I find classic resolutions and goal-setting to be unhelpful as I move through life.

1) I have enough ways to disappoint myself

I have strong perfectionist tendencies (like, Patronus-Charm level), and I’ve been working to unravel these for years.

And for any task, short-term project, or multi-year venture that I take on, I undergo intense berating and scrutiny from my top expert: me.

[Expert (noun): a person who has a comprehensive and authoritative knowledge of or a skill in a particular area. And I am indeed the expert in the highly specialized field of all-the-ways-I-could-have-done-better]

Setting a target that is so specific or time-bound feels like an added weight to the pressure that I already feel on a daily basis. If you also struggle with perfectionism, you’re likely familiar with the steady stream of impossibly high self-imposed expectations – they’re exhausting, and we don’t need more.

Perhaps the only useful goal for a recovering perfectionist would be… to be less strict with goals.

2) Tunnel vision = missed opportunities

Had you told highschool-aged-Andrea that one day, she would indeed become a Physio (yesss!), eventually specialize in scoliosis (but why), open a few clinics (yeah right), employ a team of 30+ wonderful people (how), fully transition away from treating clients (no way), then step away from management to go back to business school at 35 (as if)… I wouldn’t have believed you.

I also would have never chosen or even identified those things as life goals, yet I love how my life has unfolded and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

If you’re like me and tend to approach deadlines with laser-like focus, that tunnel vision and need for speed may blur unique opportunities that pop-up, then pass you by.

I believe we must balance directed progress with staying open-minded, without jumping impulsively from idea to idea (“SQUIRREL!”), which is also a risk when you move too fast to make good, intentional decisions.

3) We need to make room for capital-L ‘Life’

With our achievement-focused culture, it’s easy to get swept in the vortex of accomplishments.

But we know that life happens, and there are very, very valid reasons why timelines need to shift. Yet for some people, the act of adjusting a timeline or goal can feel like a failure.

This past year, I experienced true burnout that lasted for six months.
Had I set firm goals to be accomplished by Dec 31, 2022, my achiever personality would have led me to:
A) push through those six months to reach those goals ‘no matter what’, likely deepening or prolonging my burnout, or
B) adjust my timeline or goals, bringing on those feelings of failure. Intellectually, I know this isn’t a failure. But when my mental capacity is at a low and I’m already feeling insufficient, I have less coping strategies to combat those narratives. Moreover, I would…
C) spend time and energy justifying to myself why I couldn’t meet the original goals. But let’s be real – ain’t nobody got time for that.

Speaking of accomplishments, a noteworthy one in my personal development has been learning to listen to my body and my emotions to honour where I’m really at, rather than ignoring my health and continuing the hustle and grind, telling myself that ‘rest is for the weak’. Seriously, that was a subconscious message that dominated my 20s.

Sidenote: in August, I deleted social media off my phone, and only in that absence did I realize the extent to which hustle culture messaging and inevitable comparisons made me feel insufficient and swirling in the accomplishment-at-all-cost vortex.

Try setting directions, rather than goals

If this article resonates with you so far, try this: instead of goal-setting, play with direction-setting. In other words, clarify the types of people, situations, and qualities of life that you desire to be immersed in. Clarify your orientation, determine where to point your focus.

Where to start? For me, these three practices have helped me get oriented:

1. Practice daily reflections: going inward and tuning into myself on an (almost) daily basis helps me monitor how I’m feeling mentally and physically; I can take note of which types of people inspire me or make me feel icky; which activities I do and don’t enjoy; what tasks I excel at and where I struggle; and most importantly, what I learn about myself and human nature through interactions with others
2. Perform periodic ‘audits’ of my life: a few times a year (my birthday, transition of a season, change of role, change of semester… really anytime where it feels like a period of change), I zoom out and evaluate all aspects of my life, assess where I’m unfulfilled and where my gaps are, then think about ideas on how to fill those gaps
3. Work with a coach: My leadership coach has been a wonderful sounding board who can pull on threads of my ideas and identify blind spots to help me choose and clarify the directions I want to move in

For me, the most beautiful aspect about direction-setting is that it places the focus on the journey rather than the destination – in fact, the ‘final picture’ is quite blurry, and changes often – all I know is that it’s somewhere in the top right quadrant of my field of view. This leaves room to take different routes, try new paths, experiment, and course-correct as needed.

And since I’m allowing myself to move in that direction without a pre-determined pace, I can choose to slow down or speed up depending on how life is going, and how I’m feeling. It allows for ‘delays’ and accommodations, it’s a more gentle approach to progress.

Goal-Setting vs Direction-Setting Examples

Here are some popular themes of goals (social, health, financial) and how a re-frame to direction-setting may be helpful. These are only sample goals, and aren’t my actual goals or directions.

Goal-Setting	Direction-Setting
I will expand my network by making 5 new friends by the end of my school program.	I want to surround myself with people who are living life intentionally; people passionate about social change, learning, change-making, and pursuing their genius. (getting clear on the qualities and priorities of people that I want to be in my orbit. Maybe this means examining my current network, and helps me decide which new people to pursue deeper relationships with, rather than going with the flow when meeting friendly and charming people with impressive resumes)
I will lose 10 pounds by August 31st by going to the gym 4 times per week.	I want to feel energized by listening to my what my body needs – movement, nutrition, sleep, rest, or mental/emotional processing. (appreciating the actual necessities of good health, promoting mind-body connection; gives room for fluctuations in life situations rather than being tempted to engage in unhealthy habits like dieting or drastic exercising that increases injury risk, just to hit an arbitrary number)
I will save $X by Feb 28th.	I want to be intentional with my money habits and participate in conscious spending in line with my values, to prepare for the future. (reminds me to be a long-term thinker and think twice about quality, need, environmental impact etc before purchasing, rather than depriving myself of enjoying my money or stressing about unplanned necessary expenses)

What works for YOU?

I get it – everyone is different. Many people really enjoy goal-setting, and if S.M.A.R.T. goals work for you, keep using them! Perhaps this article may provide added dimensions for consideration as you create your list of goals.

It’s also important to work with your natural tendencies. If unimpeded, you tend towards a slower pace and want to make changes, perhaps the New Year kickstart and subsequent hard deadlines are necessary.

If unchecked, you have natural tendency to push forward, you’re likely not at risk of stagnation, but rather in danger of moving too far down a path before realizing it’s not the right fit. Direction-setting may be beneficial to work as guardrails as you move through life.

Through this writing process, I uncovered challenges that come with being goal-averse, so stay tuned for part 2 where I discuss how that plays out in a leadership position.

In summary: I prefer setting directions instead of goals, because they orient my efforts and guide my life decisions while allowing space for new opportunities, disappointments, heartbreak, illness, family needs, unexpected events… the things that make our human lives as interesting as they are.

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